Meh, I've been rubbish today. I started off feeling quite positive, like I was just going to carry on and not be bothered about the WI last night. I did quite well at lunch time - although we had to go out with Alex's mam to eat, we went to the Toby Carvery and I stuffed myself on not many points at all.

Then I had to go to the hospital for the group meeting, which was basically talking about food for 2 hours. I didn't bother getting a snack either and then somehow time went by without me noticing (cos I didn't plan my day either) and it was 7pm, I was starving and couldn't be arsed cooking. We ended up ordering pizza, with both of us saying that it was just for one night and we'd be good again tomorrow. I don't know how many times we've said that and had that 'just one night off' turn into weeks, sometimes months.

Thing is, I knew there was a danger of me doing this. I always do after I'm disappointed that my efforts haven't paid off. I end up getting self destructive and eating badly. I'm not even conscious most of the time of what processes my mind goes through but there's a definite pattern of this and I suspected I'd be the same today. It wasn't enough to stop me when the time came though.

I really need to get hold of the fact that I can't go on like this forever and that I have to commit properly in order to change. Even if that change seems slower than tectonic plates, it's still happening, even half a pound at a time.

Starting again, as of now.