Well, today went a little better than expected, but I still fucked it up in the end! I went to York and it was beautiful, as ever. I bought an excess of things I truly don't need but either sparkled at me or looked too pretty to leave on the shelf. It was nice mooching around with my boyfriend, Alex and getting to spend a little time with my sisters and Dad, too.

Food wise, I started off with a really light breakfast so I could save the points for eating out - I just had a WW yoghurt and an apple. Lunch time I did myself proud - we went to Bella Italia and I wanted a pizza or a panini with chips but managed to pick the spaghetti napoli instead (just 7 pts). I did get garlic bread with it, which with hindsight, I regret - it was a tiny portion and I resent wasting 6 pts on it!

It went downhill later though. My partner wanted to go to the Gourmet Burger Kitchen and as I'd only had 14 pts all day, I thought I might be able to get away with it. Only now I've come home and tried to point it and can't find any nutritional information anywhere! I have a sinking suspicion that I've gone well over my points, as the burgers were bloody massive.

Still, although I am annoyed with myself a bit, I suppose it was a step in the right direction. I didn't indulge myself all day, I managed to show a bit of restraint in my choices and I'm going to try and be proud of myself for that and not cut myself up about going over my points - it was a genuine mistake today as I believed I was eating within them.

My negativity does hinder me somewhat...the more guilty I feel about my eating habits, the more I convince myself that I'm an abject failure and will never succeed at losing weight. Once that thought is at the forefront of my mind, it's far too easy to skip to 'well, what's the point of even trying?'.

I think this blog is helping already though - just putting things down in black and white is helping to clarify my feelings and recognise some of the patterns I have with my eating. I'm only a few days in so I feel a bit cautious about saying I feel like I'm back on track but what the hell, let's be positive...I'm on track today and I was yesterday and that is fucking good news for me. Tis about time I recognised the positive as well as the negative.